Psilocybin mushrooms got rid of my anxiety and depression

Since I was 16 years old I have struggled with depression and anxiety. It ended up escalating to the point where I was either sobbing beneath my desk out of loneliness or snorting Ritalin to escape pain through highs. In second and third year of university I developed premature ventricular contractions – heart palpitations – that would occur constantly throughout the day. Imagine if a giant poked you right in the chest whether you’re asleep or with friends or eating – but at random, every one to five seconds or so. You don’t see it coming. And it’s your goddamn heart. Beating randomly. RANDOMLY.

My cardiologist was baffled and prescribed magnesium tablets which didn’t help – because these palpitations were driven by anxiety, which is just as mental as depression. When you deal with all this intense personal internal pain for years and years, you have to develop self-defense mechanisms to survive the day. You got to. And these self-defense mechanisms can often devolve into vicious circles: I’m too anxious and depressed to spend time with people -> Why are none of my friends inviting me out anymore?

Psychedelic mushrooms break down these self-defense mechanisms instantly. If you’ve never tried them it’s impossible to describe the experience better than “freeing.” Suddenly I was just happy. I didn’t need to do A, B or C to feel better. I didn’t need to escape via my self-built mental mechanisms or mantras. I didn’t need booze or weed or people or Netflix. I could just sit still and be content. I didn’t need fucking anything.

Suddenly my relationships got better, from this one solitary experience. Months later I find myself in my first long-term relationship, because my relationships are no longer predicated on my neediness or drive to escape my pain. Psychedelics changed my life for the better by freeing my mind. Now I can, in every moment, be at ease and at peace.

Eric, Canada.

 

Each Monday we publish a new story from around the world in collaboration with Psychonauts of the World.